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Jul. 25th, 2008

thirty eight

 You're kidding me, right? it's been a month since i last posted something?
Woah, that really does show how quickly time flies by when you're life's packed full with plans. It's wierd, i remember writing that last entry so clearly. I remember how i was sitting on the opposite site of my bed to where i usually am, with my legs crossed, and my laptop on my knee. I remember having to stop half way through to go down and answer the phone and it was my auntie, calling after my mom. And i remember she asked how i was, and we had a conversation about how busy Nantwich gets on saturdays. Ahh no way was that a month ago.
I've done so much since then. There's been a few new experiences happen to me in this past month, and going abroad with friends for a week was definitely my favourite one :) Sorrento, Italy. 
Last week has probably been one of the best of my life, if not, the best.. it was just, wow.. seriously, you had to be there. The atmosphere mainly, it was just really pleasurable, and everyone seemed to be extremely content for the whole five days we were there. I actually loved it. 
Now i'm back in england it's back to dismal weather and boredomn 24/7. At least i've got my computer back, otherwise god knows how i'd survive this holiday. Correct me if i'm wrong, but i honestly do no see the big excitement over summer? sure, it's a chance to go on holiday, get a tan, chill around and not be expected to do much. But you can't tell me that six weeks of that isn't too much? and that after one week, it kind of starts to gradually loose its fun, and just gets boring? that's how i feel anyway, and astonishingly, i want to go back to school.

Jun. 25th, 2008

Writer's Block: Choose a Power

If you could have the power to fly, be invisible, or teleport anywhere, which would you choose?
Wow, good question. My first instinct was to write "fly", but then i thought about it, and thought, apart from the sensation, and the speed, it's basically the same as driving. Teleporting anywhere would be fun, because for no cost, or time to waste, you could just be anywhere, with the click of a finger. Being invisible though, that's the one that i would choose. You could do anything to anyone, and no one would find out that it was you.

Jun. 24th, 2008

thirty seven

i've been sitting here on my bed, legs crossed, gazing out of my window for ten minutes now. It's wierd how when i just glance up at the sky, i can't take my eyes off it. It just kind of... pulls me in, and i want to look at it for ever. I examine every single aspect of what's infront of me. I notice the tiny inches of blue, desperately trying to peer in through the mass of fluffy white clouds that fill the sky. I notice the trees standing next to one another, and how they're all individual. Each one with different leaves, different colours and different shapes, but somehow they manage to look natural, and everything fits. Then there's the line of rooftops that i can see when i look further into the distance, about half a dozen of them. Each one gradually getting smaller, until they're so small, i can see no further. It all looks so still, so peaceful. The only movement to be seen is the constant, gentle swaying of branches, moving back and forth, in a calm breeze that fills the air. Every so often a bird flies past. It's strange, it's never a group of birds, just one. Always the one.

Jun. 22nd, 2008

thirty six

27-28 June    -    Sleeping at Megs 
28 June   -   Shopping for italy 
2 July   -   London art gallery with school
8 July   -   Peak district trip
14 July   -   Alton Towers trip (L)
16 July   -   Dance exam D:
17 July   -   Italy (L)
30 August    -   Hazzas dads wedding party (L)
11 November   -   Alter bridge :)

thirty five

Thinking about you now makes me feel physically sick. It's strange, but i actually like it. I like the fact that i don't crave you, or long for you, and the fact that you're nothing but resented. I feel like i've wasted a lot of time, when, quite frankly, i could've been doing much better things, with much better people. People who don't lie, or cheat. People who don't have bad moods for no particular reason, and take their anger out on me. People who don't just say they love me, for me to say it back, to make them feel good about themselves. Are you really that insecure? So insecure that you just pick up as many girls as you can get, so that you gain some satisfaction? you're ridiculous. I don't know how i ever got into you.. i guess i was young. Didn't really understand what i was getting myself into, until it was too late. I'd fallen. That was probably my biggest mistake. And for that, i think you owe me something, promise me one thing.. Never come back into my life.

Jun. 21st, 2008

Writer's Block: To me, LiveJournal is...

What does LiveJournal mean to you? Has that changed since you started your LiveJournal account?
Well i don't really know what it is to me. I first got livejournal because i thought it could be a way of venting my anger and unhappiness, but when i realized that my problems concern some of the people that are most likely to read this, my idea was ruined. Thinking about it, i don't actually know why i use livejournal. Maybe it's because i want people to read it, or because i want to put my thoughts down in writing, or maybe it's just simply a way to kill time.

Jun. 20th, 2008

thirty four

I've had a great day, and i feel really quite amazing at the moment. It's just my life in general right now, i think that it's at one of it's highest points ever, and i'm finding myself constantly happy. Even when i come across bad situations, or downfalls, there's the good things, that are making me think positive, because they over-power the negative things by a long long way. It's summer, i have the most amazing friends anyone could ask for, and i don't have anything to worry about. But the fact that i have a lot of things to look forward to is probably one of the main reasons i'm so happy, there's a lot going on, and i'm pretty much loving it.
It's wierd, when i'm incredibly happy, i can't really write a lot, and it's the same if i'm depressed. Whereas if i have nothing to think about, my mind is empty, so i have the freedom to let my mind wander, without getting sidetracked.

Jun. 18th, 2008

thirty three

This week's going so slow and i feel like shit for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Jun. 16th, 2008

thirty two

I'm currently lying on my bed, head propped against three pillows, with the laptop on my knee, listening to music and drinking a glass of pineapple juice. My dad says that if i have my laptop against me a lot of the time, then i have a bigger chance of getting cancer. I don't believe things like that, it's just a preditcion. I mean, if they had a load of evidence about it, and complete proof, then yes, it'd be believable, but the fact that it's just an idea someone has thrown together one day, makes it less convincing. I just don't believe much these days, there are lies round every corner.
Also i've just realized how much i love pineapple juice. About two years ago i drank it everyday. I used to get little cartons of it, and just drink them 24/7, keeping stacks and stacks of empty ones in my room that i forgot to put in the bin. Then i'm not sure what happened, but i think we just stopped buying it. Earlier however, i opened the fridge expecting to see some exotic juice my mom drinks to try and be "healthy", but there wasn't. It was pineapple juice :) current obsession.
Okay, i'd better be off, i'm about to collapse i'm so tired. G'night.

Jun. 13th, 2008

thirty one

I can't recognise my feelings at all at the moment. 
I'll write when i can make sense of them.

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